Prelude to Heaven by Laura Lee Guhrke

Author:Laura Lee Guhrke
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781465852984
Publisher: Laura Lee Guhrke
Published: 2013-04-17T22:00:00+00:00

***

Alexandre paid no heed to where his footsteps carried him, for Tess’s words ringing in his ears made thinking of anything but her impossible.

I love you.

She couldn’t mean it. Not really. It was gratitude, clearly mixed with some very misplaced hero worship. Deep down inside, he began to shake, and he realized with chagrin that he was afraid—afraid that she did mean it, and that he’d have to live up to it. And that he’d fail.

Hero? What a joke.

He stopped abruptly, realizing he was walking along a path he hadn't taken for three years, one he had vowed he would never take again. He was at the winery.

His steps faltered at the sight of the three stone buildings before him, but now that he was standing here, he was seized by an overwhelming need to go on. He resumed walking, and by the time he opened the door of the first building, his heart was thudding in his chest. When he grasped the rusted iron door handle, his palm was slick with sweat, and the door creaked loudly on its hinges when he pushed it wide.

A rat scurried past him as he walked between huge empty vats, and cobwebs tickled his face. He paused at the other end of the windowless room, staring down the stone steps that led into the wine cellars, where the sunlight streaming through the door faded into inky blackness, but he could still see Anne-Marie tumbling down the steps.

“You were so afraid of dying,” he said aloud. “I know I am to blame and there is no way I can atone for that. I wanted to die, too, but then, I realized my penance was to go on living.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I have been alone for so long, chérie. I don't want to be alone anymore.”

He turned away from the steps into the cellar and sat down on the dirt floor. He closed his eyes and thought of Tess. He thought of her arms wrapped around him, the taste of her lips, her whispered admission.

I love you.

He already knew she possessed courage enough to have a dozen children and a heart big enough to love them all. He wanted to believe her heart was generous enough to love him as well.

He didn’t deserve that, and yet, he wanted her love because he loved her, too. It would be best for her if she left, and yet, he didn’t have the strength to fight her if she chose to stay.

But if she and the baby stayed, how would he take care of them? How could he live up to what they needed and deserved? He had nothing but a crumbling castle and a broken-down winery. Tess and Suzanne deserved so much more.

Opening his eyes, he looked around him, remembering his surroundings the way they’d appeared years ago, before he had turned his back on all of this and shut everything down. Hope suddenly flickered inside him, like a lamp lit in a dark window.

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